I'm goin up the country babe don't ya wanna go
I'm goin up the country babe don't ya wanna go
I'm goin to some place where I've never been before
Canned Heat
The Plan Stans the gut feeling test!
Getting crook seems to be a badge of honour for travellers to earn in these parts. (The Stan badge, perhaps depicting bright red bottom cheeks with snowy peaks and brown spotty background) If so Ron and I have earned ours and as usual I've tried to raise the bar mixing it up with two lots of food poisoning (Indian and Turkish), a dose of the squirts from water or something, a mix of dehydration and altitude sickness, then got better twice, before really crashing in Osh. Ron has had a couple of doses of the shits which don't seem to bother him at all. I've never met anyone who can be enjoying a meal, indicate he has a bowel problem and leave the table returning ten minutes later with graphic descriptions and hungrier than ever.......just not human that man....
"News flash...Friday 25th Ron has got the squirts again after another memorable bad meal in Taldykorgan and is almost grumpy this time!"
Osh to Barnaul, goin up the countries!
For us Kyrgyzstan is the gem of the Stans.It's got it all, mountains, snow, Yurts, good roads, cheap accommodation and jaw dropping lakes and scenery.Pity it's a bugger to get to. Realistically all we did was pass through on the M41 which was a great ride but according to the Muzztoo people there is much better to be had inland. Make no mistake though as with all of these countries up till now, getting stuff done and getting around is always a challenge. We only stayed one night in Bishkek in an old renovated Russian building near a hospital so didn't see much really. Walking around in Osh the number of mercs, bmws, Japanese import cars of all sizes combined with a saturation of electronic paraphernalia is offset by glaring lack of public works , footpath repairs, drains, although road repairs were better than Tadjik or Uzbek. Any nod to history or culture seems to have been squeezed out by the Russians and trampled in the rush towards westernisation. Sure there are pockets of history for the dedicated searcher but just walking around in the cities is usually grey and ordinary. Outside the cities life goes on as it always has.......well.....erm ...maybe not the yurts with solar panels and satellite discs but the little donkeys have retained their right to be overworked and underpaid!
No licence ....biiiiig problem!
After breaking every speeding law, red light law, traffic law for the past couple of months we finally got sprung....two hundred metres before the Kyrg/Kazak border. As we approached the border we got waved in by a cop expecting the usual passport check. "No no no, you no stop at the sign". "Oh oh what now" "License please.....you no Kryg license....biiiiig problem....biiiig problem". Ron who is the world's worst liar blurts out something about a truck in the way which is ignored. "You must pay two thousand fine (forty bucks)". Straight away I pretend that must be a thousand each and peel out a K but he hangs in there and feigns anger "no no two thousand each". Ah F!@#$ (darn) it, after what we've been up to, and with the border in sight, pay up and laugh later. Ron looks pale as that rarely seen wallet emerges to pay what is clearly a daily scam buuuut that's life....and they do have guns!
The M41 runs through a heap of gorges and is a great bike road. But it was hot, real hot.
The officer in here managed to extract some back pocket tax within sight of the border "S"uckedin "C"ome "A"gain "M"oreoften
The Kazakh side of the border about a couple of hundred K's to Almaty bustles with activity with money changing, cabs, minibuses and people from everywhere in the hot sun.
Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
Lovin Spoonful
On Kazakhstan
Once again we hardened criminals (tourists with money?) attracted the attention of the authorities and had to pay up. I have seen more radar guns in Kazakhstan than in South Australia....nah nup it's true never thought it possible! After literally seeing a dozen or so lazers since leaving Kyrgyzstan and being super careful we careered past a hidden seventy K sign and out jumps the big hat man. (They have serious hats in these countries which must have serious problems in lifts, high winds, cars and maybe even standing next to each other!) He sits me in his car, (he took his hat off) shows me the ninety nine K's photo (just about go to jail back home!) taken right next to the seventy sign, huffs and puffs, and rattles bits of paper he doesn't want to fill out. I get the idea and get my wallet out and he motions to keep it under the dash out of sight. He writes ten thousand (about sixty bucks) on scrap paper, I pay him, we shake hands, life goes on....no bullshit, no paperwork, no backed up court system, no lawyers etc.....I know it's wrong buuut..... Travelling through Kazakhstan from Almaty up is just like outback South Australia. Sure the roads are crap and the towns are totally different but the countryside with radar traps, rolling brown hills and flat plains in between could be anywhere from Port Augusta to Coober Pedy. I was dreaming (of five wheatbix in a bowl with real milk and fruit.....mmmm...when I get home) on one section when I spotted a dog carcase on the side of the road....my brain went "aha another dead roo" just as any good Aussie should! Aaah home....
Yep could be outback Oz but is outback Kaz....felt almost home!
This gentleman fixed Ron's rack at Taldykorgan after it broke on the crap roads....scary bit was he didn't use his helmet whilst welding the rack....must have bionic eyes! Ron also displaying on his seat the major toolkit he brought along in case something really went wrong....hmmmm...
Kazakhstan is another mix of emerging new stuff plopped on old infrastructure. This is our motel in Ayagoz which was new and cool but no footpaths etc around. The footpath to the bazaar was part concreted but had holes cut out an adult could disappear down. Good luck at night! ......Is it me or is the roof on the hotel a bit odd?
The bazaar was about a K from the hotel with no signs and hidden behind shop fronts. You found it by wondering why vast numbers of people outside had suddenly disappeared. When you found it though it was pretty cool.
Their Chinese quality items seem better than our Chinese quality items.....
Now what have we here, pipe fittings, fishing stuff, some sort of axe or spade handles, chains, some treddly tyres....stuff that comes in handy even if you never use it!
Lunch time, a banana, a snickers bar and a swig of water. Or if it's hot, the snickers becomes a fondue you can dip the banana in and a swig of ....hot water......yum yum.
This is just before Oskemen towards the border.
This is the hotel where we stayed in Oskemen (or Ust Kamenogorst) before we left Kazakhstan. Trick is to find the run down one, usually with scaffolding, bad tiling and rusty external airconditioners in the centre of town. This one was half the price of the ones nearby without scaffolding, still had the row of clocks behind reception, (international time signal you are being overcharged) and even came with retro bubbly woodgrain lino, when was the last time you saw that!
This is the Russian border just past Shemonaikha. Took about two hours but friendly and smooth. A young girl in the Great Wall SUV in front spoke good English and had a chat while we waited and an older guy several cars down came back and showed us photos of his MX days on a CZ, all very sociable. We copped rain on and off all the way to Barnaul for about four hundred K's from here but great to be finally out of the heat with good roads and lovely green countryside. We met up with Beth and Shalom again at the hotel to maybe hatch plans for Mongolia.
Reality Check
It's good to be finally out of the Stans. Hardier types can blather on about the wonderful this and the beautiful that but man it's a genuine culture shock for normal everyday types. The scenery can be stunning and everything you imagined balanced by mind numbing hard work just getting simple or normally logical stuff done. Because every day all day is a full adventure the memories are burned permanently into your soul. Not scars but more like a faded tattoo of a beautiful past girl that was really hard work!
I'm goin up the country babe don't ya wanna go
I'm goin to some place where I've never been before
Canned Heat
The Plan Stans the gut feeling test!
Getting crook seems to be a badge of honour for travellers to earn in these parts. (The Stan badge, perhaps depicting bright red bottom cheeks with snowy peaks and brown spotty background) If so Ron and I have earned ours and as usual I've tried to raise the bar mixing it up with two lots of food poisoning (Indian and Turkish), a dose of the squirts from water or something, a mix of dehydration and altitude sickness, then got better twice, before really crashing in Osh. Ron has had a couple of doses of the shits which don't seem to bother him at all. I've never met anyone who can be enjoying a meal, indicate he has a bowel problem and leave the table returning ten minutes later with graphic descriptions and hungrier than ever.......just not human that man....
"News flash...Friday 25th Ron has got the squirts again after another memorable bad meal in Taldykorgan and is almost grumpy this time!"
Osh to Barnaul, goin up the countries!
No licence ....biiiiig problem!
After breaking every speeding law, red light law, traffic law for the past couple of months we finally got sprung....two hundred metres before the Kyrg/Kazak border. As we approached the border we got waved in by a cop expecting the usual passport check. "No no no, you no stop at the sign". "Oh oh what now" "License please.....you no Kryg license....biiiiig problem....biiiig problem". Ron who is the world's worst liar blurts out something about a truck in the way which is ignored. "You must pay two thousand fine (forty bucks)". Straight away I pretend that must be a thousand each and peel out a K but he hangs in there and feigns anger "no no two thousand each". Ah F!@#$ (darn) it, after what we've been up to, and with the border in sight, pay up and laugh later. Ron looks pale as that rarely seen wallet emerges to pay what is clearly a daily scam buuuut that's life....and they do have guns!
The roads are dotted with these food stalls. You can get most things and fresh too. Just don't fall in the open drain in front of the stall. This is the first day out of Osh.
The stalls are usually run by kids of all sizes. The mite in the yellow is just selecting some vodka for me!
The next day we gained some altitude and the road to Bishkek got better and better.
Yurts lined the roads selling all sorts of stuff. As usual someone from the group we had hooked up with had to stop and have a taste......
Sooo there we are eating....horse stuff.....I think! There was really thick cream which was OK but the fermented milk tasted like sh!@#.....no not an acquired taste...like sh!@#
We didn't try the white egg thingos........which were under serious guard!
Mmmmm.....I wonder if Julie Andrews likes fermented horse milk....
The last bit of the road before it drops onto the plain before Bishkek is simply stunning.
Almaty
Almaty in Kazakhstan proves you cant really generalise in this region. Just when we expect another grey city "whammo" a western city with burger kings, Lexus's and late model cars, working traffic lights, clean well kept mid city centre and big western pricing. Easily the most expensive accommodation but lounging in a cafe with a cappuccino in the central district you could be in any western city....weird. This is our hotel the Uyut which is excellent....but expensive. We had to stay two nights while we arranged our Mongolian passports so I hit Burger King to fatten up!
Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
Lovin Spoonful
On Kazakhstan
Once again we hardened criminals (tourists with money?) attracted the attention of the authorities and had to pay up. I have seen more radar guns in Kazakhstan than in South Australia....nah nup it's true never thought it possible! After literally seeing a dozen or so lazers since leaving Kyrgyzstan and being super careful we careered past a hidden seventy K sign and out jumps the big hat man. (They have serious hats in these countries which must have serious problems in lifts, high winds, cars and maybe even standing next to each other!) He sits me in his car, (he took his hat off) shows me the ninety nine K's photo (just about go to jail back home!) taken right next to the seventy sign, huffs and puffs, and rattles bits of paper he doesn't want to fill out. I get the idea and get my wallet out and he motions to keep it under the dash out of sight. He writes ten thousand (about sixty bucks) on scrap paper, I pay him, we shake hands, life goes on....no bullshit, no paperwork, no backed up court system, no lawyers etc.....I know it's wrong buuut..... Travelling through Kazakhstan from Almaty up is just like outback South Australia. Sure the roads are crap and the towns are totally different but the countryside with radar traps, rolling brown hills and flat plains in between could be anywhere from Port Augusta to Coober Pedy. I was dreaming (of five wheatbix in a bowl with real milk and fruit.....mmmm...when I get home) on one section when I spotted a dog carcase on the side of the road....my brain went "aha another dead roo" just as any good Aussie should! Aaah home....
This is just before Oskemen towards the border.
Gonna leave the city got to get away
Gonna leave the city got to get away
All that fussin and fighting man,
you know we sure can't stay.
Canned Heat
It's good to be finally out of the Stans. Hardier types can blather on about the wonderful this and the beautiful that but man it's a genuine culture shock for normal everyday types. The scenery can be stunning and everything you imagined balanced by mind numbing hard work just getting simple or normally logical stuff done. Because every day all day is a full adventure the memories are burned permanently into your soul. Not scars but more like a faded tattoo of a beautiful past girl that was really hard work!
Thank you folks for your comments and don't be shy to send a line regarding the blog as often as you like. Being so far from home we get a buzz checking your comments on the trip and hearing from you!
Next through the Altai region and into Mongolia.....